Family, Hardships, Job Life, LGBT, Love, Love vs. Lust, Marriage, Melancholy, My Wonder-Working God, New York Times Bestselling Author, Rape, Self-confidence, Teenage Life, university, Writing

Pure Joy in Our Chaos

I remembered that time when I felt like my life was about to blow up and I’d end up dead in seconds. But it never happened. In fact, I feel as remarkable as ever. See how life screws you over like that? It’s funny, a year ago you were skinning yourself and letting the blood drip on your already-trashy million-dollar carpet and the next, you’re getting married to the most perfect man. It sucks how life gets us up and down like that, but thank God He lets those things happen. Otherwise, we might never learn what it means to actually live a full life. As I was scrolling through my social media, a random person asked, “What does it mean to live life to the fullest?” I thought about it, but didn’t reply him. I just kept thinking and cramming my head. What does it mean to live life to the fullest? I don’t know. I could be rich, have an amazing husband, have a perfect college degree, have a perfect life, and have perfect kids and parents. But that still doesn’t count as living life to the fullest. So, let me ask you guys that question: What does it mean to live life to the fullest?

If you would like to answer, please do. Because I, too, have no idea what ‘living life to the fullest’ means. Well, I do have a simple idea of it – It’s having a solid connection with Jesus Christ. I am not saying this to lure you into a pit of religions, but I have to say, these people who are open-minded but still have a deep connection with Him are pretty cool people and they have pretty cool lives. They are all so present and down to Earth, but they still hold their Scripture close. I’m not sure if I can ever be that kind of person. It’s interesting though, how they manage to solve their problems.

Oh, did you think these people who have solid connections with Jesus don’t have problems? You’re kidding yourself. No, seriously. It’s hilarious how these so-called “Christians” promote Christianity as if it won’t do you any harm. Oh, no! You will definitely feel the scorching torture within. Believe me, I have been there. But after you’re through with it, after you’ve mastered the way to be extremely faithful to Jesus, you won’t find these problems too problematic. Why? Because you have Someone much, much bigger than these problems or trials. You don’t have to weep any longer. Instead, you will worship Him in the midst of your chaos.

I remember these verses so well. I love them. Call me a masochist, but it really does help me go through problems (and don’t even think that my problems are petty). It’s in James 1:2-12 MSG. READ IT! I swear to you, whoever you are, whatever you’re going through, whatever your religion is, I swear it’ll do you good. I was shocked the first time I read these verses. And I was annoyed when I read them the second time. But after reading it over and over again, I finally understood why these verses resonated in my life so annoyingly. Here, I’ll give you a peak at one of the verses:

James 1:2 MSG – Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.

Crazy, right? It told us to consider it a sheer gift when we are facing tests and trials. When we’re facing our mother who is a psychopath. When we are facing our father who is cheating. When we are facing our brother who is a drug-addict. This mysterious writer told us to be grateful when we’re struggling through torturous mishaps or meeting with condescending lunatics. To make matters worse, here’s the next verse:

James 1:3-4 MSG – You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

This mysterious writer was basically telling us to keep ourselves in those tests and trials before the time is right for us to get out of it. Isn’t that wonderful? Ha.

So, you can obviously tell why I was annoyed the first few times I read these verses. It made me feel deranged, because at the time, I was in a very uncomfortable situation. I was going through the worst in my life. I was in a dark place. I was alone. And all of a sudden, as I was listening to Lisa Bevere’s old sermons, she read out those verses. It was either Jesus was telling me to quit sulking or He loves to torture me. Either way, it did me good.

This next verse was pretty much specifically written for me.

James 1:6 MSG – Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

When I read that, I felt my heart pound a little bit. I started to remember those nights when my prayers were filled with doubts and ‘maybes’. I wasn’t fully aware that Jesus was so much bigger than my sins or my problems and that whatever I ask through faith, He will give it to me. So, all I had to do was ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

This last verse is for the closing of this blog. I hope you remember all these verses, or at least the message in it. It’s empowering, strengthening, and very much awakening. I hope that you guys can feel what I felt when I read these verses:

James 1:12 MSG – Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.

American Dream, Article, College, Family, Job Life, Love, New York Times Bestselling Author, Self-confidence, Writing

Soulful or Not?

Being a Content Writer isn’t easy, though since I have applied my entire life for it, I guess you can say that I got used to it. Writing isn’t easy. Thinking of entertaining or ‘eureka!’ words is not a cup of tea. It’s brainstorming, it’s psychology, and it’s soul. I need to use every inch of myself to get a good article or blog post done. Why? Maybe some of you might think of how annoyingly exaggerated I am. But I think that’s what makes a good writer.

I am not a fan of people who can write whatever they want without thinking of the core message that their readers will get from it. But most of the time, I write like those people. It’s exhausting, to be honest, having to write every single day about the same boring topic, which is about business. In case some of you haven’t noticed, I am now doing internship at an e-commerce solution startup. They build sales platforms for other entrepreneurs that need them for their business. Sounds boring? Well, not entirely. At least they are good people with good-quality personalities. They’re driven and excited. I like that about them. They’re good people and they deserve the best out of their business.

Anyways, I am not just a Content Writer at my office. I am also a Content Creator. See, this is somewhat different. I thought they were exactly the same, but I was wrong. For content writing, it’s just the words. But for content creating, it’s literally everything visual and audio. So yeah, it’s not a cup of tea, but it’s what I live for. I love everything about it and it makes me wonder: Have I been a great Content Creator?

Well, not exactly. Yeah, I am creative. But not creative enough. There are a lot of people out there who are so much more creative than I am and sometimes, that makes me feel weak. People say, “Oh, Michelle, you are so multi-talented and creative and beautiful and perfect.” Well, thanks. But I am not what you think I am. I’m just a uni girl trying to get my life together and trying to solve my not-so-creative way of working.

But how do I solve this? It’s a puzzle that I’ve long tried to put together and yet, I haven’t created my Masterpiece. It’s so frustrating because I want to be the best. I’ve never been good at anything else except writing, photography, and singing. But right now, all I want to focus on is writing. Why? Because somehow, I feel my soul intertwined to it, like every single word should matter to me. I don’t want to just write for good marketing or to be an Insta-celebrity. I want every piece of work I do to become an inspiration to somebody. want to be an inspiration to somebody.

“Well, you are an inspiration to me,” my mom said.

I felt like my world has quaked. Did I hear that correctly? My mother, the strongest, wisest, most incredible woman I know said that I am an inspiration to her? It was only a few days ago when she said that – when I told her the reason why I broke up with my now-ex-boyfriend. You might want to laugh. “Why would your mother feel inspired by your weeping heart-breaking end-of-love-story with your ex? That sounds depressing.” Well, of course you’d think that way, because you don’t know the reason why. A few of my friends know about it and it wasn’t a surprise when their confusion flew to another dimension. “But you guys were so perfect.” Wrong again. We have gone through too much intoxicating things together that I do not want to explain, but it had been such a hard lesson for both me and him. We noticed, we learned, and we’re trying to change and move on. That’s what’s important right now.

So, back to my mother. She said that I was her inspiration when she knew that everything I had ever done and said was all because of her. She was the one behind every great thing everybody has seen in me. She was the reason why I’m so loved and deeply cared for. And (okay, do not cry or close this blog) she was the reason why I didn’t commit suicide. “And so, like, what’s your point of all this depressing stories now, Michelle?” It’s this: You need to be soulful. You need to do something with your life. You cannot settle for what you have right now, because you are so much more than what you are now. And last, you need somebody to inspire you. And maybe, once you’ve mastered every piece of your life, you can be an inspiration to somebody else.

Don’t fret, I am still as lost as you are right now. But I’ve got every intention to get myself together and write. To inspire. To create. Watch me, I’m going to be New York Times’ Best-Selling Author one day.

Article, Controversial, Job Life, LGBT


Okay. I have to be honest with you guys. When I first heard about this word (which was literally 2 hours ago), all I thought of was that one part that is in our bodies that is way down below. If you guys have ever learned Biology in school, you’ve probably figured it out. I know, right? Michelle, that’s gross. But to be honest, I wouldn’t have found the real definition of it without searching through Google and I wouldn’t have found it if I never searched the word “integrity”. Now who wouldn’t know what integrity means? It’s pretty obvious, yet pretty hard to grasp, especially put an act into it.

So, I first started looking through the word “integrity” because a friend of mine needed help on writing some stuff about it. And since, being the Michelle I am, I had to look it up since I kind of know about it but don’t actually know the true meaning of it. Instead of writing literal crap about it, I did my research. And lo and behold, I got the definition after the first attempt.

Integrity is a pretty big word. Why do I say that? Because most people just don’t have it in them. Wow, Michelle, that’s pretty harsh. But it’s true, though, right? You guys can say whatever wise crap you want, you probably don’t even mean them.

Anyways, to get you guys really thinking about it, integrity is honesty and having strong moral principles. Let’s use an example to explain this. Pretend that you have a friend who everybody adores. They’re quick-witted, very opinionated, and have strong personalities. They’re probably the hottest topic in your school. They’re just all over the place because of their wise little lips and soft hands. But in reality, they’re just not so perfect. They don’t mean what they say and say what they mean most of the time. And they’re pretty judgmental, too. But who are you to tell them? They’re everybody’s coolest friend. Get the picture? Anyways, you probably have that one friend lying around somewhere.

To be fair, I, too, can be like this. I can say all the sweetest lollipops but do all the dangerous chemical reactions. I can say that we should all respect one another and be nice whenever possible, but be the meanest person you’ll ever meet.

Having integrity in your life is so, so important yet so hard to do. You have a million critics that are your friends, parents, teachers, lecturers, leaders, pastors, and bosses that can somehow turn your good or open-minded point-of-view upside down. You experience pressure from your peers to fit in and do exactly like them. And you’re probably traumatized being the nice guy among a bunch of chicks who only appreciate dicks (unfortunately).

But why should implementing integrity be so important? Maybe you’ve all heard of grey life choices. You’re a leader in church but also corrupt in your political life. You’re a “feminist” but deride and below other women. You are adamant – so to say – but you’re indecisive at the same time. You say you have discernment but support and protect criminals in court for cash. You can’t live a double life, you guys. Choose one – black or white? It honestly doesn’t matter. You can be a stripper for all I care, but don’t preach about how women should dress and act femininely. You can definitely be contra-LGBT, but never speak about judgment. You can be the number one corruptor in the entire world, but hold your mouth about honesty.

For the conclusion, I only have 4 words for you guys: just choose one life.

Ambiguous, Controversial, Hardships, Job Life, LGBT, Literature, Love, Love vs. Lust, Melancholy, New York, poem, Self-confidence, Uncategorized, Writing


Once upon a time, there was a girl named Danielle Tiffany Abercrombie. She got her name after a famous designer called David Thomas Abercrombie, one of the producers of Abercrombie & Fitch. She grew up in Crested Butte, Colorado, a very secluded and icy cold area. She was a poet, someone who looked up to ambiguous and controversial things. She was a parsimonious altruist, a writer, and a lesbian. She was 21 years old at that time, at an age where people usually already know what they are going to do in life right after graduation from a university they hand-picked by themselves. She was at an age where people didn’t have to mind who they are, because it was just being them. It’s who they are. And they might as well have to accept themselves or kill themselves.

But Danielle found it difficult for her to do both. All her life, ever since she knew about her ‘peculiarity’ of liking the same sex, she wanted to change. She wanted to cut the so-called ‘social deviation’ out of her veins. She just wanted to be like any other girl who likes guys in her Elementary or High School or even campus. She wanted to be like everybody else who God created so perfectly, with no flaw. Why did He create her with that sort of struggle in her life? Why couldn’t He have made her like everybody else?

“To be or not to be? That is the question.”

Hamlet’s famous words from Shakespeare’s “The Tragedie of Hamlet – Prince of Denmarke” was Danielle’s only motto in life. And he was right. She was stuck going to and fro about life and death. Hamlet and her had the same thinking. Maybe life right now is hard, but what if death is harder? What if by her committing suicide, she will get something far worse? And when she regrets it, she certainly can’t come back to life. That’s all she thought of in her being.

She felt like a zombie. A zombie walking in a void. That’s how she felt so deeply; hollow and empty. The obsessive need to change was exhausting. And the pressure from her family and friends and community was not helping at all. They kept telling her to move forward, meaning they wanted her to ‘click back’ into the little girl they used to know and take care of and love. But what they didn’t know was she had been that way all her life.

At the age of 15, she had already told her close friend Amery and both her parents. She thought that her closest people in the world would understand and accept her the way she was and still treated her the same. But she was absolutely wrong. When she told Amery, her eyes and mouth popped opened and she said, “Are you crazy?!” When she told her mom, she closed her eyes and teard began to fall. When she told her dad, he stood abruptly and threw his hand to her face. Things did not end very well.

She moved to Manhattan, New York at 23 because she couldn’t take it any longer. She moved to a place where she could be her complete self, taking off her mask she had been wearing for many, many years. Well, she lived alone. Who should she impress?

This is just something I felt like writing. I know it’s a bit of a cliff-hanger, but I don’t know what else to write next. I will update it when I’ve come up of something. But until then, I’ll stop here. Thank you so much for reading.