College, karya sastra, Literature, My Wonder-Working God, New York Times Bestselling Author, poem, Puisi, Uncategorized, Writing

Integrity Poem

I get your fear, know your pain

I see through your ways, not your little games

Lies that cripple your soul and swallow you whole

You don’t need to hold on to them no more

 

Your hands might define your flow

But it is your heart that moves your soul

Tides and tight lines only line your sight

But your God is the way to fight

 

Ready your armor and sharpen your knife

Shape your probity and don’t run out of fright

Give Him your hand and He’ll hold it tight

Because He is the way, the truth, and the life

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Article, Controversial, Job Life, LGBT

Rectitude

Okay. I have to be honest with you guys. When I first heard about this word (which was literally 2 hours ago), all I thought of was that one part that is in our bodies that is way down below. If you guys have ever learned Biology in school, you’ve probably figured it out. I know, right? Michelle, that’s gross. But to be honest, I wouldn’t have found the real definition of it without searching through Google and I wouldn’t have found it if I never searched the word “integrity”. Now who wouldn’t know what integrity means? It’s pretty obvious, yet pretty hard to grasp, especially put an act into it.

So, I first started looking through the word “integrity” because a friend of mine needed help on writing some stuff about it. And since, being the Michelle I am, I had to look it up since I kind of know about it but don’t actually know the true meaning of it. Instead of writing literal crap about it, I did my research. And lo and behold, I got the definition after the first attempt.

Integrity is a pretty big word. Why do I say that? Because most people just don’t have it in them. Wow, Michelle, that’s pretty harsh. But it’s true, though, right? You guys can say whatever wise crap you want, you probably don’t even mean them.

Anyways, to get you guys really thinking about it, integrity is honesty and having strong moral principles. Let’s use an example to explain this. Pretend that you have a friend who everybody adores. They’re quick-witted, very opinionated, and have strong personalities. They’re probably the hottest topic in your school. They’re just all over the place because of their wise little lips and soft hands. But in reality, they’re just not so perfect. They don’t mean what they say and say what they mean most of the time. And they’re pretty judgmental, too. But who are you to tell them? They’re everybody’s coolest friend. Get the picture? Anyways, you probably have that one friend lying around somewhere.

To be fair, I, too, can be like this. I can say all the sweetest lollipops but do all the dangerous chemical reactions. I can say that we should all respect one another and be nice whenever possible, but be the meanest person you’ll ever meet.

Having integrity in your life is so, so important yet so hard to do. You have a million critics that are your friends, parents, teachers, lecturers, leaders, pastors, and bosses that can somehow turn your good or open-minded point-of-view upside down. You experience pressure from your peers to fit in and do exactly like them. And you’re probably traumatized being the nice guy among a bunch of chicks who only appreciate dicks (unfortunately).

But why should implementing integrity be so important? Maybe you’ve all heard of grey life choices. You’re a leader in church but also corrupt in your political life. You’re a “feminist” but deride and below other women. You are adamant – so to say – but you’re indecisive at the same time. You say you have discernment but support and protect criminals in court for cash. You can’t live a double life, you guys. Choose one – black or white? It honestly doesn’t matter. You can be a stripper for all I care, but don’t preach about how women should dress and act femininely. You can definitely be contra-LGBT, but never speak about judgment. You can be the number one corruptor in the entire world, but hold your mouth about honesty.

For the conclusion, I only have 4 words for you guys: just choose one life.

Abortion, Ambiguous, Article, Controversial, Family, Human Rights, Love, Marriage, Rape, Reproductive Rights, Uncategorized, Writing

ABORTION: Let’s Talk Reality

By: Michelle Phoebe

Abortion has been a controversy to many people around the globe. Some countries criminalize abortion, but some others legalize it for certain reasons to support Reproductive Rights. Around 45% of pregnancies among US women in 2011 were unintended and four of ten of these were terminated by abortion, which is 40 out of 100%. There are many non-government organizations that give access to safe pregnancy termination, contraceptive use, and reproductive healthcare.

One of the non-government organizations providing these is Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA). PPFA is one of the organizations in America to provide these rights for women since 1916. Things were going smoothly for the organization, caring for many men and women of their reproductive health, but unfortunately extreme politicians in the Congress, speaking in the name of humanity and religion, find abortion an issue. Therefore, efforts to pull out funding to this organization are coming from a variety of directions. “It’s giving money to an organization that commits abortion,” says Focus on the Family, a California-based non-government organization. Not only will abortion ‘kill’ the infant, but it may be a danger to the mother physically and mentally.

List of countries that make abortions legal only to save the mother’s life:

From the Caribbean From Asia and pacific Middle east and North Africa Europe Sub-Saharan Africa
Argentina Pakistan Kuwait Poland Ethiopia
Bolivia South Korea Saudi Arabia Finland Zimbabwe
Peru Thailand Morocco Germany Malawi
Costa Rica China Netherland Guinea
Switzerland Cameroon
Belgium Burundi
Denmark Burkina Faso
The Netherlands
Ukraine
Norway
United Kingdom

Source: http://www.whichcountryinfo.com/countries-with-legal-abortion/

There are many other countries listed down, like Indonesia for example, if the case is rape or fetal impairment or to save the mother’s life.

Speaking of health issues, there are many ways abortion can physically and mentally damage the mother if not handled correctly. For example, in illegal clinics moving underground to do abortion with very minimum tools essential for doing the process, most women suffer from heavy or persistent bleeding, damage of the cervix, perforation of the uterus, and possible death. For mental health, it can cause the woman to develop a sense of guilt, loneliness or isolation, eating disorders, nightmares, or depression.

But if the clinic is under an organization that is fully supported financially and do not have complications regarding legality, the clinic will responsibly take care of the woman, giving her counseling about the possible side effects and giving her chance after chance to think about the risks. The process will run with less physical issues and the organization will keep her in contact for any mental instabilities. They will keep things in check and make sure everything is well for the woman.

Abortion may post some health problems, but if handled correctly, things will go back to normal. Talking about mental instability, it might take a while for the woman to feel normal again, though it might not erase her guilt. Having a baby – as some might say – “killed” in the mother’s own belly might be a big problem considering humanity and religion, but it would be a bigger problem if the mother is not physically, mentally, and financially ready to take care of her infant. There is another way to prevent women from choosing abortion, though.

A few years back, a man named Mr. Tong Phuoc Phuc who used to work at a hospital based in Vietnam to make a cemetery for aborted babies went on to adopt babies who were planned to be aborted and keep them in the orphanages, having the goal to reunite the children with their mothers when they are already able and settled down to care for them. Unfortunately, one of the orphanages Mr. Tong was running did not hire proper care-givers and manhandled or ‘disciplined’ these toddlers aggressively. However, in 2014, an Australian non-government organization in Vietnam visited the orphanage to check up on the children there. Now, the orphanage is running smoothly with better care-givers who have been trained to teach and give attention to these children and they all looked happy and healthy.

Abortion is still a controversy to this day. Many believe that abortion can save women’s lives in the future when handled correctly and many other believe that there are other ways for the mother and the baby to have a happy life. There are also available options to choose other than abortion. We still do not have concrete answers to whether or not abortion should be legal, or if it is a life-saving solution. But it has been a heavily thought out plan for many women.

 

Sources:

  • The Wall Street Journal: 5 Things to Know About Planned Parenthood
  • Planned Parenthood Federation of America: Abortion Information
  • Huffington Post: White House Rolls Back Protections for Planned Parenthood
  • Which Country Info: List of Countries that Legalize Abortion
  • Guttmancher Institute: Induced Abortion
  • Asia One: Shades of Profiteering and Abuse at Vietnamese ‘Haven” for Unwanted Babies
Ambiguous, Controversial, Hardships, Job Life, LGBT, Literature, Love, Love vs. Lust, Melancholy, New York, poem, Self-confidence, Uncategorized, Writing

Abercrombie

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Danielle Tiffany Abercrombie. She got her name after a famous designer called David Thomas Abercrombie, one of the producers of Abercrombie & Fitch. She grew up in Crested Butte, Colorado, a very secluded and icy cold area. She was a poet, someone who looked up to ambiguous and controversial things. She was a parsimonious altruist, a writer, and a lesbian. She was 21 years old at that time, at an age where people usually already know what they are going to do in life right after graduation from a university they hand-picked by themselves. She was at an age where people didn’t have to mind who they are, because it was just being them. It’s who they are. And they might as well have to accept themselves or kill themselves.

But Danielle found it difficult for her to do both. All her life, ever since she knew about her ‘peculiarity’ of liking the same sex, she wanted to change. She wanted to cut the so-called ‘social deviation’ out of her veins. She just wanted to be like any other girl who likes guys in her Elementary or High School or even campus. She wanted to be like everybody else who God created so perfectly, with no flaw. Why did He create her with that sort of struggle in her life? Why couldn’t He have made her like everybody else?

“To be or not to be? That is the question.”

Hamlet’s famous words from Shakespeare’s “The Tragedie of Hamlet – Prince of Denmarke” was Danielle’s only motto in life. And he was right. She was stuck going to and fro about life and death. Hamlet and her had the same thinking. Maybe life right now is hard, but what if death is harder? What if by her committing suicide, she will get something far worse? And when she regrets it, she certainly can’t come back to life. That’s all she thought of in her being.

She felt like a zombie. A zombie walking in a void. That’s how she felt so deeply; hollow and empty. The obsessive need to change was exhausting. And the pressure from her family and friends and community was not helping at all. They kept telling her to move forward, meaning they wanted her to ‘click back’ into the little girl they used to know and take care of and love. But what they didn’t know was she had been that way all her life.

At the age of 15, she had already told her close friend Amery and both her parents. She thought that her closest people in the world would understand and accept her the way she was and still treated her the same. But she was absolutely wrong. When she told Amery, her eyes and mouth popped opened and she said, “Are you crazy?!” When she told her mom, she closed her eyes and teard began to fall. When she told her dad, he stood abruptly and threw his hand to her face. Things did not end very well.

She moved to Manhattan, New York at 23 because she couldn’t take it any longer. She moved to a place where she could be her complete self, taking off her mask she had been wearing for many, many years. Well, she lived alone. Who should she impress?

This is just something I felt like writing. I know it’s a bit of a cliff-hanger, but I don’t know what else to write next. I will update it when I’ve come up of something. But until then, I’ll stop here. Thank you so much for reading.

Feelings, Literature, Love, Love vs. Lust, Melancholy, poem, Puisi, Uncategorized

You’ll Want to Stay

So I know I haven’t been updating anything for so long, and I know this looks like I’m just so inconsistent, but hey, I need some inspiration to write! Plus, I’ve been busier exploring the poetic part of myself and been going through Instagram (@bingkai_pesona) to update them. If you guys are interested in Indonesian poems, you guys should go and check it out!

What have I been doing – no,  feeling lately? Well for starters, I have felt the need to stress every single aspect of my life. It’s tiring, it’s torture, but I don’t know why, like, I have to do it. It keeps me going. I don’t feel worthless/useless. I just feel like I need to stress and burn myself out with all these things happening in campus and friends and family and even service. So to channel that really nasty energy, I decided to let out poetic Indonesian words out on Bingkai. I’ve been working together with a friend of mine to develop that account. We were both inspired by a few very powerful and influencing accounts on Instagram and we decided to channel all of our sadness, stress, heartbreaks, motivation, happiness, love, and excitement into our account. And just recently, I made an English song.

So, about this song: For those of you who know me personally, I bet all of you know who it is. For those of you who don’t, let’s just say I’ve been interested and keeping my eyes on this guy for about 3 – 4 months. We’ve been friends since last year, because of a conference we attended together. We never really got to know each other that well, but whenever there were big events, we would definitely be inseparable. Well, I’ll tell you what happened.

After my last heartbreak, I figured I needed to neutralize my emotions and rebuild my energy and recollect all the time I’ve wasted for something that wasn’t going anywhere. To be honest, we were serious, but we also knew we weren’t going to go anywhere in the future, since we both had different religions and our family backgrounds are just too Heaven-and-Earth far from each other. And we had gone through a very toxic and tiring relationship. It was best for the both of us to break up and go through our lives separately. And after a month of that, I suddenly moved on to this other guy at my community. I used to like him in Junior High. Although I decided to move on from him by dating that recent guy, I knew I still had strong feelings for him. So, to put it simply, I guess you can say I used to have a huge crush on him for 6 whole years. And to put it frankly, I was a total bitch. I was mean to want to move on from him by dating that recent guy. Although I fell in love with him as time went on, I still thought it wasn’t fair for him to experience that. So after probably another few months of liking the community guy, I decided to put my brain in my shelf and confess to him how I really felt. It did not end well. Honestly, at the beginning I knew it wasn’t going to be like in the Fairy Tales. I knew he wouldn’t suddenly feel this suppressed energy inside his heart he had been feeling but didn’t know what it was. I knew he wouldn’t suddenly change his mind about that girl and be with me. I knew we weren’t going anywhere. But I just needed to tell him. For once in my life, I needed to be crazy-brave. And I did. Although it left a pretty bad wound on my heart, I felt relieved. I would never know what he was feeling or thinking about me if I never confessed, and I would never know for certain where my feelings came from. And now I do, and now it’s gone. And I’m absolutely relieved.

So, after a whole year of not liking 1 single man in my life, I felt absolutely free of any negative vibe. I felt so alive and productive. I gained more and more friends and I felt like I wasn’t just sitting on my couch and crying while eating Pringles and drinking Coke. No, I actually had to sigh and throw myself to bed because of how tired I was from all the productive activities I had been doing. And those were the times I felt like I don’t need a single man in my life.

I attended this field trip to Bandung with my community a few months later. At first, I didn’t want to join. Because I didn’t know these people very well and it would suck if I didn’t have any friends to have fun and goof around with there. But then, this guy I always hung out with at big events accompanied me. The entire day, probably for literally 17 hours, we did not lose sight of each other. We were like 2 papers glued together. We were totally inseparable, we were having a lot of fun and taking a lot of pictures, and at the end of the day, I felt comfortable. I felt safe. And at the bus when we were on our way back home, I slept on his shoulder. I didn’t know why I did that but I did, and I guess that was the start of our closeness and hence the dating.

So, this is the song I wrote. I wrote for maybe around 10 minutes. It’s called “You’ll Want to Stay”.

Baby, stay here don’t you leave me

I’m sorry, I know that you’re hurting

I’m disgusting, just say what you want

I won’t get torn apart


Save me, I’m drowning in your eyes

Come meet me, I promise I won’t cry

Just kiss me♡ before I have to die

In your arms, but that’s good enough


I see that you don’t want me

But I’ll be the one to see


Come and keep me company

Stay close and be that sweet baby♡

Don’t you dare go and walk away

I know that you will want to stay