American Dream, Article, College, Family, Job Life, Love, New York Times Bestselling Author, Self-confidence, Writing

Soulful or Not?

Being a Content Writer isn’t easy, though since I have applied my entire life for it, I guess you can say that I got used to it. Writing isn’t easy. Thinking of entertaining or ‘eureka!’ words is not a cup of tea. It’s brainstorming, it’s psychology, and it’s soul. I need to use every inch of myself to get a good article or blog post done. Why? Maybe some of you might think of how annoyingly exaggerated I am. But I think that’s what makes a good writer.

I am not a fan of people who can write whatever they want without thinking of the core message that their readers will get from it. But most of the time, I write like those people. It’s exhausting, to be honest, having to write every single day about the same boring topic, which is about business. In case some of you haven’t noticed, I am now doing internship at an e-commerce solution startup. They build sales platforms for other entrepreneurs that need them for their business. Sounds boring? Well, not entirely. At least they are good people with good-quality personalities. They’re driven and excited. I like that about them. They’re good people and they deserve the best out of their business.

Anyways, I am not just a Content Writer at my office. I am also a Content Creator. See, this is somewhat different. I thought they were exactly the same, but I was wrong. For content writing, it’s just the words. But for content creating, it’s literally everything visual and audio. So yeah, it’s not a cup of tea, but it’s what I live for. I love everything about it and it makes me wonder: Have I been a great Content Creator?

Well, not exactly. Yeah, I am creative. But not creative enough. There are a lot of people out there who are so much more creative than I am and sometimes, that makes me feel weak. People say, “Oh, Michelle, you are so multi-talented and creative and beautiful and perfect.” Well, thanks. But I am not what you think I am. I’m just a uni girl trying to get my life together and trying to solve my not-so-creative way of working.

But how do I solve this? It’s a puzzle that I’ve long tried to put together and yet, I haven’t created my Masterpiece. It’s so frustrating because I want to be the best. I’ve never been good at anything else except writing, photography, and singing. But right now, all I want to focus on is writing. Why? Because somehow, I feel my soul intertwined to it, like every single word should matter to me. I don’t want to just write for good marketing or to be an Insta-celebrity. I want every piece of work I do to become an inspiration to somebody. want to be an inspiration to somebody.

“Well, you are an inspiration to me,” my mom said.

I felt like my world has quaked. Did I hear that correctly? My mother, the strongest, wisest, most incredible woman I know said that I am an inspiration to her? It was only a few days ago when she said that – when I told her the reason why I broke up with my now-ex-boyfriend. You might want to laugh. “Why would your mother feel inspired by your weeping heart-breaking end-of-love-story with your ex? That sounds depressing.” Well, of course you’d think that way, because you don’t know the reason why. A few of my friends know about it and it wasn’t a surprise when their confusion flew to another dimension. “But you guys were so perfect.” Wrong again. We have gone through too much intoxicating things together that I do not want to explain, but it had been such a hard lesson for both me and him. We noticed, we learned, and we’re trying to change and move on. That’s what’s important right now.

So, back to my mother. She said that I was her inspiration when she knew that everything I had ever done and said was all because of her. She was the one behind every great thing everybody has seen in me. She was the reason why I’m so loved and deeply cared for. And (okay, do not cry or close this blog) she was the reason why I didn’t commit suicide. “And so, like, what’s your point of all this depressing stories now, Michelle?” It’s this: You need to be soulful. You need to do something with your life. You cannot settle for what you have right now, because you are so much more than what you are now. And last, you need somebody to inspire you. And maybe, once you’ve mastered every piece of your life, you can be an inspiration to somebody else.

Don’t fret, I am still as lost as you are right now. But I’ve got every intention to get myself together and write. To inspire. To create. Watch me, I’m going to be New York Times’ Best-Selling Author one day.

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