Loving Yourself

I’ve heard a lot of people coming in and out, saying, “I hate my hair,” “I hate my thighs,” “Ew my face is so fat,” “I’m not man enough,” “I’m not fit enough,” “What is wrong with me?”

Whether those statements come out as just a joke or intentional, they still expose you as the insecure, ungrateful type.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been through so much of that. I’ve had my fair shares of doubts and disappointments about my body and my brain, especially when I went through a heartbreaking and traumatic problem over 5 years in my own small family. Then I have always thought of myself as the consistent failure in school. I don’t hang as much as everybody else before and I certainly hate studying. But when I try, it was as if nature pressed me to keep being the stupid failure I had always been my entire life. I broke down really nasty when I stepped into junior high school, like straight-on crying-with-mucus-all-over nasty. I started doing absolutely crazy things to myself that I shouldn’t have, starting from cutting my own skin to drinking a lot to actually putting a rope around my neck, whilst dealing with the family problem. I was one of the most insecure people back then. I thought of how frail, stupid, freak-like, and ungrateful I was towards my own life. But I also felt like God was so far away, like He didn’t even think of me as His creation, like he had counted me as the last person He’d check up on, as like almost all the people who are in my life.

To put it simply, I have gone through so much pain, depression, and other worldly sin alone and not one person knew about anything, until now. Though I wasn’t alone. I was never alone. God had been with me this entire time and He hadn’t left me at all.

Now don’t think I did not think this through when I wanted to write about this. It was very hard for me. I didn’t want anybody to know what my life is all about. I wanted everyone to think that my life is perfect and fabulous, but after seeing what everybody has become and what everybody has thought of themselves, I decided to step up my game and tell you the real truth about me and every single one of you here.

We are not of no value.

Certainly, most people have this kind of thinking in their heads now. Although not all of you out there are insecure, there are still a number of people who are consumed by envy and crippled by anger of themselves. And here I am, an absolute no-body telling you that you are not supposed to be envious or angry of yourselves. Because Jesus has died on the cross for you and me so that we can be free of all worldly sin like that.

Yesterday, I heard a fantastic Pastor named Lisa Bevere who told us girls that we should be carrying our cross like heroes with swords in hand. What she was saying that we shouldn’t be helplessly listening to God and every time a problem comes in we just say, “Oh, it’s okay. God is with me. He’ll show me the way out of this.” Absolutely not! He never wanted us girls to be standing there weak and frail and longing for God to come and rescue her. God wants us girls to be snipers and predators; He doesn’t want us to just listen to His words. But He wants us to do His words, because if we start doing, His words will be alive and He will bless you and everyone around you.

So up there, I said “we are not of no value” and that is absolutely true. And by proving to yourselves and to other people that you are of value, start by getting out of your comfort zone and be a warrior. Because you will get so much from coming out and following Him who saves.

MB