Growing up, I’ve experienced countless times of having low self-esteem and awkward moments with even my closest friends. How I was not as useful, beautiful, charismatic, and intelligent as everybody really got the best of me and turned me into a walking pessimist. I began to feel the weight on my shoulders as I realized how I have been so imperfect and nobody liked me for who I am. People stared me down and thought of how I was such a failure. At least, that was what I thought. Even a few of my closest friends a long time ago didn’t have the urge to call me as their best friend because they were ashamed. I began to feel the crumbling feeling in my heart and actually believed that I was not good enough and that I wasn’t worth anybody’s heart and mind.
And then I tripped into junior high school. Changes started happening as I became active at church. My self-esteem was really challenged when my youth church told me to become a singer there. With shaking arms and sweaty pits, I said yes.
After doing ministry a few times (going on and off for months and even a few years), I finally decided to stay rooted in my church. I felt a deep connection with my fellow church friends and youth pastor. And they gave me confidence I never knew I had and they kept pushing me against my boundaries, even until now. I wouldn’t even be able to suck it up and make this blog if they weren’t in my life.
But even though that, I still have my downs. Like how all of my friends are so confident and can bring up a conversation anywhere at anytime and I was only on their tail. I thought that if I could be like them then I could feel complete or perfect. As my mind kept thinking of perfection and my character acted as if I were like them, I tried to think of myself in God’s eyes.
God created us all just the way we are with certain types faces, bodies, hair, characters, and passion. We weren’t made by accident. We were made carefully and in detail, each and every one of us in this world.
By thinking of this often, I started accepting myself – my whole self, and tried telling myself positive things. I started saying “thank you” more than saying “I wish”. I prayed because I was grateful, not because I needed things, because He has already given me plenty. Accepting, being grateful, and loving yourself means respecting God for being such a wonderful and creative God. Don’t ever think you’re worthless, useless, pathetic, or a failure, because God has created you so uniquely to make a better world.
“God has set a unique plan for your life. And he will abundantly prepare you for it. You can trust His provision. And this one’s harder: you can trust His timing.
If you’re busy glancing to the left and right, jealous of someone else’s plan, you may miss the perfect one He’s written just for you.
So when comparison makes you feel “less than”—like you’re the only one who hasn’t been picked yet—remember that God doesn’t ask you to take your cues from those around you. He asks you to take your cues from Him, the one who already calls you his “masterpiece.””